When was the last time you asked yourself, How am I today?
Not how’s the project going, not what’s next on the to-do list, but simply: How am I, really?
In a world that’s spinning faster than ever, it’s strange how easy it is to forget the main character of our own lives: ourselves.
One day bleeds into the next, life starts to look like a giant, never-ending checklist. And somewhere between the meetings, the newsfeeds, the deadlines, and the constant chasing of a “better†life, we stop asking the one question that actually matters.
How am I today?
And while we’re at it, how often do we slow down enough to genuinely ask the people who matter to us the same thing? How are you today?
Not the polite “how are you?†in passing. The real question. The one that demands more than a monosyllable.
The truth is, we’re so caught up following celebrities, scrolling through highlight reels, and measuring ourselves against curated realities, that we often lose touch with our own.
We start living reactively, pushed and pulled by emotions we don’t even fully register because we’re too busy moving to the next thing.
And the truth is:
Some of the worst decisions we make in life come when we act purely from how we feel in a fleeting moment.
When emotions are left unchecked, they quietly drive choices — and not always for the better. If we don’t slow down to acknowledge how we’re actually feeling, we risk making decisions from a place of anger, exhaustion, loneliness, fear, or ego without even realising it.
Checking in with ourselves isn’t just about emotional maintenance.
It’s about regaining agency over our lives.
Why We Need To Get Better At Asking (and Listening)
It’s funny, even when we do ask others how they are, we often rush to fix them.
"Don’t worry, things will get better."
"Look on the bright side!"
"Everything happens for a reason!"
"Stay positive!"
I’m guilty of it too. (My wife reminds me often.)
And while these responses usually come from a good place, they can end up feeling more dismissive than supportive.
Not every emotion needs a silver lining.
Sometimes, sadness just needs to be sad.
Anger just needs to be acknowledged.
Defeat needs to be felt without a pep talk.
Adam Grant talks about this beautifully in his book Think Again , how toxic positivity can be just as damaging as negativity. Constantly trying to reframe emotions doesn’t allow people (or ourselves) the space to process, to learn, and to heal.
Sometimes, the most powerful thing we can offer someone, or ourselves, is the simple message:
"I’ got your back. It’s okay to feel this. You’re not alone."
Finding Space To Breathe
For me, running or cycling alone has become that sacred time.
No music, no podcasts, just me and my thoughts.
It’s where I slow down enough to ask myself:
How am I doing?
What am I feeling?
Is there something I’m avoiding?
Am I proud of how I showed up today?
It’s amazing what surfaces when you give yourself the permission to just be.
No filters. No judgement. No performance.
You realise that emotions are not enemies to be managed, but messengers to be heard.
So Here’s A Thought
What if we made it a habit to check in?
Not just when things go wrong. Not just when someone breaks down.
But regularly, like brushing your teeth or making your morning coffee.
A small, simple practice of asking:
How am I today?
How are the people I love today?
No need for fixes. No need for grand solutions.
Just attention. Presence. Humanity.
Maybe that’s what creates real resilience.
Not the ability to push through everything, but the courage to feel everything and still move forward.
Because oops to opportunity isn’t about pretending that mistakes or hard days don’t happen.
It’s about recognising that every stumble, every heavy moment, every emotional checkpoint is an opportunity to understand yourself a little better.
And build something stronger.
Starting with the simple act of asking:
How am I today?